When Orlando wakes up, they've undergone a physical metamorphosis and can see that they are now a woman. Rioters break into Orlando's room, assume he's dead, and steal his new royal garb. After a week without their duke, the city revolts. There's a whole exhausting ritual and ceremony in order to do that (like, " Prince Ali, fabulous he" level ceremony) and Orlando goes to sleep afterwards.but doesn't wake up. Things go pretty well for a while-so well, in fact, that the King decides to promote Orlando to Duke status. He skips town…all the way to Constantinople, where King Charles has appointed him Ambassador. Realizing he's a wanted man (pun intended), Orlando skips town. Orlando's not interested in anything long term, but unfortunately, Harriet is. Orlando falls in love well, we (the readers) think it's love, but the narrator tells us that it's actually just lust.
Turns out the stalker is the Romanian Archduchess Harriet Griselda. Orlando invites all the neighbors over, but then decides to chill by himself and work on "The Oak Tree." After the same strange-looking woman walks back and forth in front of his window a couple times, Orlando realizes he's being stalked and invites the stalker inside for a cup of tea. Clearly, the solution is to start partying.
He saves one piece called “The Oak Tree,” then orders a pack of elk-hounds, claiming that he is "done with men." Orlando tries to snap out of his blue funk by redecorating and refurnishing his whole castle, but pretty soon he figures out that the whole effect is lost without actual people to put inside his newly redesigned abode. Orlando reads the thinly-veiled spoof and promptly burns everything he’s been writing. How public? Basically, Greene creates a South Park-style spoof of Orlando’s life and publishes it – not quite what our hero was hoping for. After six weeks of hanging out with the poet, Nick Greene, Orlando gets a very public answer.
Eventually, Orlando decides to invite an actual poet to his house to get some honest feedback on whether or not he's got any actual writing skill. Orlando goes back to his big castle to mope and write poetry. However, Sasha takes his heart, stomps on it with steel-toed boots, and before Orlando knows what hit him, she high tails it back to Russia. He does a lot of flirting until he falls in love with a Russian princess whom he decides to call Sasha. Being a noble, Orlando gets to meet Queen Elizabeth, and being tight with the Queen (not to mention good-looking and wealthy) gives Orlando some major credibility when chatting up the ladies. He is young, attractive, noble, and playing a game called "attack a severed head" when we meet him.
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